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Friendly Reminder That You Don’t Owe Anyone Happiness

We’ve all been there. You wake up with a smile on your face, and then you step outside into the world, and suddenly it’s gone.

Okay, well, maybe suddenly isn’t exactly how it went down, even though that’s the best way you’d describe your drastic mood change. The truth is a few things happened that led to this – the state of distress and frustration you wish you could will yourself back from.

As you attempted to leave the gym late this morning, you noticed your tire was flat. You managed to get it taken care of in time for your niece’s birthday party, but you couldn’t seem to shake the rude comment someone directed at you at the auto shop – not to mention that you had zero intentions of spending all that money today. As you show up to the party, unshowered and undone, you think, oh well, at least it’s raining.

To top it all off, your spouse picks a fight with you out of frustration for having to drive two different vehicles this far away. It’s a petty matter, but the root of the argument goes much deeper – something you’ve been struggling to resolve.

You’re usually not the type to wear your emotions on your sleeve because, let’s face it, most of the people in your life aren’t either. But today is different, and though you wish it weren’t, you have every right to feel the way you do. So, as you walk into your sister’s house, you make half-hearted attempts at waves, head nods – even a few one-armed hugs.

But if there’s one thing you can’t even attempt to feel or seem right now, it’s happy. Still, you feel the unspoken pressure from those around you to be the lively, cheerful person they know you to be. And not much longer after your arrival, you start to notice what they do. It’s as if the energy level in the room is falling as quickly as the rain outside. So you kiss your baby niece and put on a smile – but only for her, only for a moment – before you retreat to another room to cry and try to regroup.

Moments later, your sister rounds the corner, on her way to console you and find out what’s going on. Although, for a moment, you wonder if she’s coming to complain about how you’re ruining this special day. You tell her about your day and how one trivial event after another led you here. You tell her that you’ll be fine and that all you need is some space and a warm hug before she goes, and that you’d be back to help give your niece the best 2nd birthday when you are ready – once you decide to be happy.

It was a side to you that she hadn’t seen, but you got what you needed and started to feel instantly better from that point. You were honest about how you felt, what you could give, and what you needed.

After the party ended and the storm blew over that night, you received a text message from your sister asking if she could call you soon about something troubling in her life. At that moment, you understood that it wasn’t only your responsibility to create your own happiness today. More importantly, you were responsible for being yourself, even when that meant feeling the opposite.

You don’t owe anyone happiness, but you owe it to yourself and those around you to show up exactly as you are, no matter the season. By being honest about who you are, and all your needs and imperfections, you permit those around you to do the same.

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